Why so “meh”? There are no answers today…

Hi. Remember me? Yeah, I’ve been quiet. It’s generally been a “meh” kind of life lately. Why? Let’s see…

The holidays were challenging and it was around this time last year that I spoke of my life change. I suppose it’s been a long time since then, but I feel much has not been accomplished even though I know that not to be true.

My lupus is still under control (gasp!)

I am off most of my meds and remain flare-free (where’s that wood I can knock on?). This is really great news. I don’t think as much about limiting my activities to avoid a flare because things have been going well. Heck, I am even saving money. I am paying off my infusion hospital bills, and there are no new ones to worry about. SHOCKING!

I haven’t even had a migraine in about 3 months.

I should be celebrating, but I’m just

Fitness goals

I did my first 5Ks last year (walking, of course). That was exciting. I was able to get my times to less than 15 minute miles for at least two of those races. Check out my accomplishment wall!

I’d like to do more, but I’ve been feeling “meh” about searching for another 5K lately. I signed up for one taking place next month, but sadly I cannot go. I’ve lost my mojo and therefore…

There goes my momentum.

Wellness goals

Meditation was going really well last year, and then I missed a few days. Eventually it dropped off. I am back on a 30-day+ streak, but it’s been less of a priority and I seem less focused. Why? I’ll get to that…I think.

Searching for the Little Wolf Hunter

I certainly let this blog and my whole “Little Wolf Hunter” social media stuff go kaput.

Inspiration: down. Creativity: poof (gone). Stamina: non-existent (believe it or not, it takes energy to do this).

Why? Like most things at the moment, I am just feeling “meh”.

So how do I get over “meh” self?

No idea. Hence “there are no answers today”. Obviously my mood is down. While I think the holidays may have been a trigger, I had/have all the “tools” to manage those stressors. And sure, I’ll tell myself (and tell anyone this):

nothing has to be perfect,
give yourself a break
just go out and do it…

But that never seems to be the answer or doesn’t seem to be possible when you are

Funny enough, I was just on Twitter, participating in #SpoonieChat and there were topics about self-talk: namely, in what voice do we spoonies speak to ourselves (positive, negative or “meh”) and in what voice do we speak to others. I find it curious this came up when I had been working on this “meh” post for a few weeks and I generally reserve my positive talk for others.

My solution…in reality, I think I need to hit the ‘reset’ button and take a nice, long vacation. When you Google #vacationgoals, this is what happens: